This Months Horoscopes by Pilgrims Mind Body Spirit:uk

Welcome text~

Read your spoof horoscope here, which are funny when you read everyone else's apart from your own. Be offended, be very, very offended.

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New and Full Moons~

New Moon is on 16 November in Scorpio. The New Moon represents the beginning of new cycles and phases of life and is a time for letting go and moving on.

Full Moon this month is on the 2 November in Taurus.. The Full Moon is a time for celebrating achievements and for bringing to fruition all ones hopes and dreams.

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Current Moon Phase~

CURRENT MOON

about the moon

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Your Birth Chart and Interpretation~You can order a full interpretation of your birth chart and future trends from our Astrology Charts Page.~~~4699~6280~~

The Real You?~Please don't sue us for deformation of character:~~~4699~6308~~

Aries~21 March - 19 April. You have great energy and are always enthusiastic. Your vivaciousness is nauseating to others. You concentrate on future success to avoid confronting your past and present failures. You have strange relationships with people much younger than yourself.~~~4699~6309~~

Taurus~20 April - 20 May. You are steadfast, even stubborn in your ways. People who know you well describe you as a pighead. You enjoy music but the only thing you can play is a radio. You are a communist.~~~4699~6310~~

Gemini~21 May - 20 June. You are exuberant and enjoy expressing yourself. Your friends think of you as a busy-body and a bore. You brag about your versatility but deep down you know you can do nothing well. Most welfare recipients are Geminis.~~~4699~6311~~

Cancer~21 June - 22 July. You are a very patient person. You can fall asleep waiting for things to happen. You have a keen memory and often recite boring, obscure things to your few friends. Cancers are easily influenced and many have actually drowned when told to go jump in the lake.~~~4699~6312~~

Leo~23 July - 22 August. You are a very proud and trusting person. Others are constantly taking advantage of you. You do not realize what is happening to you because basically you are very stupid. You are the laughing stock of any group.~~~4699~6313~~

Virgo~23 August - 22 September. You are very methodical and like things in order. On the other hand, your personal appearance is usually a mess. You think of yourself as discriminating, while others think of you as cheap and selfish. You are amoral.~~~4699~6314~~

Libra~23 September - 22 October. You are very affectionate and sympathetic towards others. You enjoy sobbing. You talk a great deal about justice, but no one trusts you. Most Librans are alcoholics and dope fiends. People look at you with pity.~~~4699~6315~~

Scorpio~23 October - 21 November. You are a very domineering and opinionated person. You do not care who you step on to get to the top. You laugh during funerals. Most Scorpios are shot in the back.~~~4699~6316~~

Sagittarius~22 November - 21 December. You have a vivid imagination and are always trying new things. Your friends think you are a pervert. Honesty is so important to you that you even admit to doing incredibly dumb things. Nudists are almost always Sagittarians.~~~4699~6317~~

Capricorn~22 December - 19 January. You are an upholder of tradition and authority. This is because you lack imagination and creativity. You cannot take honest criticism. Not even from your mother. Most prison guards are Capricorns.~~~4699~6318~~

Aquarius~20 January - 18 February. You are an amiable person who likes to be popular. You need to be around others because you cannot stand yourself. When alone, you do weird things to your body. Sex change operations are common among Aquarians.~~~4699~6319~~

Pisces~19 February - 20 March. You are a kind and gentle person. Your sensitive nature has given you the reputation of being a patsy and a lughead. Your lack of ambition is directly related to your lack of talent. Pisces make good ushers.~~~4699~6320~~

Layout Table~~~~4699~4721~~

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